All your question about potty training—from when to start to how to get out of the house—answered.
1. Q: I hear so many conflicting opinions. When is really the right time to start potty training?
A: Here’s the thing about potty training - there’s no magical age that’s going to work for everyone. The right time is the time that’s best for you and your child. The right time is when your little one hits those key physical, developmental and behavioral milestones. While this sweet spot often falls between 18-36 months, every child is different (surprise). Check out the signs of readiness below to understand when your child might be ready to take this next big step.
2. Q: How do I know if my child is ready?
A: Your child may be ready to start potty training if you can answer yes to most of these questions:
- Can she follow simple 2-3 step directions?
- Can she walk to and sit up on a potty or toilet?
- Can she pull her pants down?
- Does she let you know when she’s going, or has just gone, in her diaper?
- Does she stay dry for up to two hours?
- Is she showing interest in the potty/toilet or in wearing underwear?
Want more details about these readiness signs? Check out our detailed post - it's got all the nitty-gritty info you need!
3. Q: Should I be concerned if my child isn’t potty trained by a certain age?
A: Just like some kids walk at 9 months and others at 14 months, potty training happens on its own unique timeline. There's no magic age where your child "must" be potty trained. That said, if you're worried about your child's progress with this milestone (we've all been there!), talk to your child's healthcare provider about your concerns.
4. Q: What kind of potty should we get? A potty seat (that goes on the regular toilet) or a potty chair?
A: Most potty training experts and occupational therapists recommend starting with a potty training chair. It gets your child into the best position for going, is usually more comfortable and less intimidating. However, since she will have to transition to the regular toilet at some point, it creates an extra step in the process. Some parents prefer to start with a potty ring on the toilet right away (especially if space is tight or they're not thrilled about cleaning a potty chair). If you choose to start with a potty ring, pair it with a step stool to help your child get on and off the grown-up toilet. A potty ladder is a sort of hybrid option—it helps your child get onto the toilet and provides a place for her to put her feet and sit comfortably.
5. Q: Should we go straight to underwear or use training pants?
A: Like so many parenting decisions, there's no one-size-fits-all answer here. Training pants are convenient because they absorb all or some of the mess when your child has an accident, but they may slow down potty training since training pants can feel like a diaper to your child. They’re also an additional expense.
Underwear can also feel like a diaper, but it’s much less absorbent, so your child will realize when she’s had an accident, which may help motivate her. Being able to choose underwear from the store and feeling like a big kid is very exciting, so that’s also a good motivator. The main downside is that underwear is not absorbent, inevitably leaving parents with a cleanup job and lots of laundry. A lot of experts recommend letting your child go commando for a few days, until she gets the hang of using the potty. This can help her be more aware of her body. Some parents opt for a hybrid, such as using underwear or going commando at home, while using training pants for going out.
6. Q: Which potty training method is right for me?
A: The one who can answer that question best is you! You know yourself and your child, so you know what’s going to work for both of you. We’ll give you some of the most common methods so you can decide for yourself, or create your own perfect hybrid.
1. The child-oriented approach
With the child-oriented approach, parents follow the child’s lead, taking cues from the child’s natural interest in using the potty. Children are exposed to the idea of using the potty but are not actively encouraged to use it. When the child shows interest, the parent assists and encourages but does not push further. This is a low-pressure approach for both parent and child—but expect it to take much longer than other potty training methods.
2. The three-day potty training method
There are several variations of this method, such as the 1-day and 2-day methods, however, the overall approach is the same. It’s a cold turkey method in which parents block out time exclusively for potty training. All diapers are put away and the child starts off without any clothes or commando. The parent explains that from now on, the child will go in the potty. Whenever it looks like the child needs to go, the parent runs with the child to the potty, mid-accident if needed. This reinforces the message to always use the potty. The three-day method has been described as “potty training boot camp” and isn’t for every parenting style, but it usually is successful in a short amount of time (though it may take longer than the promised three days). It’s important to note that the three-day method usually comes along with lots of accidents, so be prepared.
3. The parent-led approach
With the parent-led approach, parents remind their child to go to the potty every set interval of time, such as every two hours and before/after specific activities. This approach may be particularly helpful when there is more than one caregiver involved in potty training, since it is easy to remain consistent with it. The downside is that it is less helpful in training children to listen to their body cues and accidents can happen in between the set time intervals.
7. Q: Should I use rewards?
A: If you’re not an external rewards type of parent, you’ll likely want to stick with this for potty training. On the other hand, positive reinforcement is developmentally appropriate at this age and stage and can work very well for some families. We’ve got a whole post on the pros and cons of using rewards, so check it out for more info. Whatever you decide, the most important thing is to keep potty training stress-free (at least for your child).
8. Q: How long does potty training take?
A: Here comes every parent’s favorite answer: it depends! You know the golden rule of parenting: don’t compare your child or yourself to anyone else! Some do it in 2-3 days, while others might need 7-10 days to get going. If you’re using a child-oriented potty training approach, it can take much longer, as that approach is designed to take several months.
9. Q: What if potty training takes longer than 10 days?
A: Kids master potty training in the timeline that’s right for them, not necessarily the timeline you want (hello, daycare deadlines)! If you’re using the child-oriented method, you already know that potty training is going to take a lot longer than 10 days. If you’re using an approach that promises results in a certain number of days, know that your child might be THE ONE to prove it wrong. If you’re seeing no progress at all, your child might not be developmentally ready. Take a break and try again in a month or so.
10. Q: Help! My child keeps having accidents. What should I do?
A: Accidents are a normal and inevitable part of potty training (not fun, I know). Don’t make a big deal of it – negative attention encourages a repeat performance, and any shaming can be harmful in the long run. Clean up the mess nonchalantly and tell your child calmly, firmly and without emotion that we need to remember to use the potty next time.
11. Q: How do I handle resistance or refusal to use the potty?
A: Finding the root of the issue is key to addressing it. If your child shows all the physical signs of readiness, but is totally uninterested in potty training, she might need more time to be emotionally ready. Taking a break and restarting potty training at a later date can help.
Sometimes children avoid the potty out of fear. If your child seems afraid, help her get used to the idea by reading books about potty training and having her dolls or stuffed animals “use” the potty. If she was using a potty ring on the toilet, switching to a potty chair on the floor can also help her feel more comfortable.
If your child has experienced pain while going, such as from constipation or an infection, she might be afraid of the pain. Addressing the underlying cause is crucial before going ahead with potty training.
Whatever is causing the potty training resistance, it’s important for parents to stay calm and keep potty training tension-free. Yes, it requires near super-human patience, but parents are the closest you can get to super-humans!
12. Q: What if my child regresses after starting potty training?
A: Rest assured—it’s super common. The first step is to take things in stride and deal with accidents in a matter-of-fact way. Potty training regression may be a result of stress; you definitely don’t want to add to it. Regression can be caused by physical factors, like constipation or an infection, so consult with your pediatrician to rule these out and address them if needed. More often, the cause is emotional, like a change to your child’s routine or life. A small change for an adult can feel like a big change for a kid. Once you identify the cause, help your child work through it. Potty training regression doesn’t usually last too long, thankfully. If it lasts longer than a month, your child may not have been ready enough to keep potty training going for the long term. If that’s the case, take a break from potty training and try again in a little while.
13. Q: We’re potty training and I hate being stuck in the house all day. How do I manage potty training while on the go?
A: Leaving the house while potty training may seem daunting, but fear of the unknown is usually worse than the reality. In this golden age of parenting, we have options. There are portable potty chairs as well as folding potty seats, so you never have to be stuck without a potty (bringing an extra change of clothing can’t hurt though). If there is going to be a long stretch of time during which you won’t be able to stop for the restroom, you can use a diaper or training pants. Most experts agree this won’t interfere with potty training when done on a temporary basis.
14. Q: How do I handle potty training if my child is in daycare?
A: Daycare and potty training can be a great mix. The daycare teachers usually have some experience in this area, and there are likely other kids potty training at the same time, so your child will fit right in. Speak to your child’s teachers beforehand to get on the same page, so you can keep potty training as consistent as possible for your child. Find out what toilet or potty the daycare uses, what potty training schedule they’ll follow and agree on a reward system (or lack thereof). Keep extra changes of clothing at daycare and if they require training pants or diapers for naptime, send those too. Dress your child in clothing that is easy to pick up/pull down for using the potty! Teachers take care of multiple children at once, so things need to be as efficient as possible. Stay in touch with the teachers to hear how things are going and work through any roadblocks that come up.
The content on this site is for informational purposes only and should not replace medical advice from your doctor, pediatrician, or medical professional. If you have questions or concerns, you should contact a medical professional.